Mean-Spirited Pack Mentality

Spewing hate because someone doesn’t agree with your politics is so mind-boggling. Spewing vicious, insulting, demeaning words and not even caring who it is you’ve thrown it at is simply mean-spirited and self demeaning. Having a difference of opinion is what makes us human. Discussing and debating differences is what makes humans civilized. Civilized humans discuss, debate and agree to disagree without calling each other demeaning names or resorting to violence. When civility deteriorates and resorts to hateful rhetoric and violence we lose some of our humanity and become like a pack of wild animals. Each pack attacks every other pack it comes across. There’s always one pack that demands every other pack defer to them no matter the circumstances.

We have two main packs in the United States right now. One pack used to be the alpha pack and ruled with an iron fist. They didn’t care what the other pack wanted or needed only their wants and needs were addressed. Now the tables have turned and there’s a new pack in control and the losing pack is fighting with everything it has to destroy the new alpha pack. They are using every trick in the book to bring down the new alpha and destroying everyone that supports them. Of course both packs have been the alpha at different times which is what has kept our country balanced until recently when civility seems to have disappeared.

People are getting hurt both physically and mentally because of a difference of opinion. Hurt feelings, hurt ego’s, hateful speech, destructive violence and the list goes on and nobody wants to stop, listen or compromise. Let’s just keep spewing hatred and violence in the name of politics.  The hell with civility and common sense. I’m right and your wrong so I’ll make you conform to my way or I’ll do everything in my power to crush you until you see it my way…that is the mantra of the losing pack.

It doesn’t matter which pack one identifies with, the point being that civility needs to return to our citizens and lose the hateful, mean-spirited attacks on one another. Our country needs to regain its desire to work through its differences instead of demanding compliance. Until we do our country will continue to have a pack mentality instead of a unifying society.

Loner Or Non-Loner?

Life can seem so strange. Everyone lives their life according to their surroundings and events that shape their world. No two people have the exact same life experiences yet there are lots of experiences that are similar. These experiences, I’ll refer to them as events, run the gamut from birthdays, graduations, loves, marriages, divorces, jobs and the list goes on. Similar events yet different for each individual.

Some people are loners while others have to have people around them all the time and neither group seems to understand the other. The loners enjoy being alone (duh) and not having to check in with anyone else, they can come and go as they please and yet be around others whenever they choose. The non-loners need to have someone around to occupy their…I don’t know since I’m not one of them. I don’t get always having others around, interacting in some form or another with someone all the time, you get my gist don’t you? It’s hard to understand those that are different when you’re different yourself. Geez, I might be confusing myself here but at least I don’t have to worry about trying to explain it to someone else that isn’t here!

I was corresponding with an old high school classmate and it got me to thinking about my past relationships since none of them worked out. I can’t speak for others that haven’t or didn’t have lasting husbands, wives, partners or lovers and ended up being single seniors. Whether the relationships ended well or not they ended and it hurt each time. Lots of questions, crying, declarations of ‘never again’ yet it did happen again and again and again. I’m old so there’s lots of agains, okay! I’m wondering how many of us have really sat back and recalled them and realized how our lives changed. As I recall all of mine, as much as I hurt and suffered through withdrawal of not having them in my life, I’ve come to a startling realization. I found that after each breakup, the hurt etc. and back to a regular life, I was better. By better I mean my life was better. After a period of time I realized that I was thankful I was no longer in that relationship because I was in a better place mentally. It’s like after each break-up I had grown another facet of myself, finally, of total understanding of who I am and what really makes me happy, content. So I’m wondering how many others, upon reflection, can come to a similar conclusion that they really are better off now without any of those past relationships. Since mine worked out the way it did I can’t imagine others not having the same conclusion. There we go again with trying to understand those that are different when I’m different myself.

In conclusion, even though I was glad I was no longer in those relationship it doesn’t mean I didn’t derive good things from them and am thankful I have those memories. I became a stronger me.  I learned that I not only like myself but I am quite entertaining in my own head. I don’t need anyone to keep me company because I have myself and I can be quite funny. So actually I guess I’m just like the non-loners because I’m not alone, I have me 24/7 but without the added body. Well, I guess there is a body but it’s connected, what I call fluff. Maybe we aren’t so different after all….

My Heart Swelled And I cried!

I held my new baby,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I saw my child laughing,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I heard beautiful music,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I watched a sad movie,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I read a great novel,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I watched a bright sunrise,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I sat through a sunset,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I strolled through the forest,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I swam in the ocean,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I saluted the flag,
My heart swelled and I cried.
I heard you were dying,
My heart swelled and I cried.
No matter the reason I cannot deny
There’s no shame in admitting,
My heart swelled and I cried.

My Heart Turned To Swiss Cheese!

My heart turned to swiss cheese and I know yours did too. If we could see the heart as it really is instead of what we want it to look like, you know nice and pink, smooth a fine tuned little machine pumping away. Well we hope it’s pumping away. We see the pictures, maybe one in a cadaver or open heart surgery but it’s just what we want to see and not an accurate rendition. If we saw it as it truly is, swiss cheese, we’d have heart failure for sure. Our eyes are deceptive to keep us from freaking out, you see, so it gives us something totally acceptable, pink, smooth, a nice strong muscle.

How do I know this you must be asking.  Well let me explain it to you but if you don’t think you can handle it, freak out, than quit reading now. I accept absolutely none, nada, zero, zip, no responsibility for your actions or health upon realizing the truth. Last chance….

From the time we are born our tiny heart muscle is pumping away keeping our blood coursing through our bodies. As we grow and learn things like walking, talking, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling and becoming aware of emotions the heart starts changing. Each time we have a disappointment a tiny dent starts to form. Each time we lose a pet a hole pierces the wall. Each time we think our heart is broken it’s actually developed another hole. Even when we are so happy or overcome with joy we experience a pain in our hearts it’s simply another hole developing. There are so many ups and downs in our lives and each one has left a hole, some big, some small and some tiny or huge. Just like swiss cheese each heart is different not uniform.  This difference is what makes us unique because our lives are unique having different paths taken.

Now I know you’re thinking “if my heart is swiss cheese the blood would be leaking out”. Not true. Our blood is continually pumped through the heart and doesn’t just sit in each chamber before toodling on to the next one. Our bodies know what it can and can’t do, plain and simple, and it knows not to squirt out those holes in the heart because those holes are actually another part of you. Our minds are only so smart and can’t grasp things it will never understand such as why are we here or if there was a big bang what was there to cause it and where did it come from. We make theories up to try to answer things we just don’t know and our hearts are the same. We don’t know why the heart keeps pumping without squirting out the holes that have developed so we refuse to actually see it.

Now this isn’t something to worry about. Just because you now know your heart is swiss cheese, quite aged in some of us, doesn’t mean there will be hearts leaks. Having said that I have to admit that in some cases these leaks do occur but that only means that particular heart had so many holes there wasn’t any wall left to hold it all together. Sadly, there are too many of us that may be getting to that point or already there due to the stress of todays society good and bad. So your swiss cheese heart may be something to worry about after all and again I take no responsibility for your health since you choose to ignore my prior warning. Now everytime you see swiss cheese you’re going to think about your heart but still picture it as pink, smooth and a fine tuned muscle….but it’s not!


Old Friends

It seems that as we get older there are fewer and fewer of our friends around. Whether we knew them years ago or just met them when they’re gone from our lives there’s another little hole that seems to materialize in our hearts.  As we look back at the trials and tribulations, successes and achievements of our friends it becomes clear that their lives were and are important. We may not have been close and possibly had little interaction but however much there is matters. There is a connection that transcends time and distance. We can support and encourage each other, be there when needed and more importantly simply extend a thought or prayer. We can express our thoughts, our pain, our milestones knowing there is nothing but love and affection not only from our friends but to our friends. When the time nears when we’re losing a friend it’s difficult to express our feelings adequately because there just isn’t any easy or right way to do it. There are no words to pass along to comfort a friend you are about to lose to that journey to that beautiful kingdom that’s waiting for their arrival. All we can do is love them and let them know that their lives mattered and touched us in a way that will stay with us until we take that journey ourselves.

Dedicated to John Flanagan aka John Mack and my friends from RHS Class of ’64.


Getting Old Is….!

I hear all the time that getting old is a bitch.  Let’s break this down…What does it really mean?  What is old?   When does ‘old’ become applicable?  Is it a number?  Does it just happen overnight?  Is it a state of mind?  And does getting old mean you aren’t old yet but on the way?  “Is” seems to point to something or someone specific but I don’t know who.  I can’t remember meeting anyone named bitch nor visited any place named bitch so that part seems wrong also.   Now let’s put it all together again.  Getting old is a bitch = not there yet is a specific undetermined someone…just doesn’t make sense now does it?  What has happened to our language?  We proudly spout things that don’t make sense yet think they make sense.  No wonder english is the hardest language in the world to learn.

Now, the way people with many years of life under their belts try to understand that statement is that as we get along in years our bodies and minds break down and it isn’t a fun nor pleasant time of our lives.  We basically are becoming physically slower and weaker, our balance doesn’t balance so well anymore, ears quit listening, eyes keep losing focus, smells gets weaker, bones break with ease, minds wanders to who knows where, taste buds only work for some flavors, hearts get worn out, bodies deteriorate and it’s all the fault of that bitch.  Now if we get rid of that bitch maybe we wouldn’t have to go through all these changes.  Old would just indicate a number to represent a certain period in our lives, while our bodies are wearing out from over use.

If this doesn’t make sense to you I understand. If it does make sense then it’s time you reassessed your grasp of the english language.  If you get nothing from this musing but one thing I would hope it would be to simply kick that bitch to the curb, it’s your life so take responsibility and don’t let nonsense musings confuse you.

I knew I should have been an english teacher!




That’s Not Who We Are!

That’s not who we are!  I’m so tired of hearing that phrase.  It’s supposed to mean that it’s not who American people are, what their morals, views, actions and ideas are.  What a bunch of hog wash.  What “they” really mean is what “they” think, “they” mean and “their” view, opinions.  “They” want to believe that “they” are speaking for all Americans because it makes it sounds like it is the only logical excuse or answer.  It’s supposed to make it the only answer and one that can’t be disputed or argued against.  It’s the RIGHT answer.

Who we are!  We are individuals that can think for ourselves.  We are individuals that have compassion for others plights.  We are individuals that support individuals, families, groups and other countries in need.  We are individuals that care about causes, beliefs and differences.  We are good people.  We are not sheep being herded by dogs that nip at our heels forcing us to go where they want, do what they want, be who they want.

It seems that usually when I hear “that’s not who we are” it’s one of those dogs that thinks that answer will and should stop any further questioning of that subject.  How can one argue against “that’s not who we are”?  If you do you’re saying Americans aren’t good people.  All Americans are lumped into the same herd and if you’re not than you’re not a good American.  “That’s not who we are” has become a catch-all to eliminate an alternate opinion or view.  If you’re a sheep in the herd you’re good, if you’re not than you’re bad. Hmmmm….

Don’t get me wrong, “who we are” is a part of being a compassionate, giving American Nation.  “That’s not who we are” is being used as a political excuse.  I could be wrong about all this…..but that’s who I am!!!!





Hatred vs Civility!

Hatred is spewing out all over the world at this time in our lives.  I don’t think there is anything or anyone that is exempt from this hatred and negativity.  One country is attacking another country, one religion is attacking another religion, groups are attacking other groups, individuals attacking other individuals and the list doesn’t seem to stop anywhere.

We have hate speeches, comments and signs towards our own political parties and members.  It’s not one party initiating hateful, vile words and deeds, it’s all of them.  We see hate towards Obama, Clinton, Trump and others from both sides.  Whatever happened to civility?  There was a time when people who disagreed had discussions, debates and went away happy they were able to agree to disagree.  Now there’s so much hate that nobody listens to the other side nor has any sense of civility.  It’s my way or no way from all sides.  No give and take.  No sense of even trying to work things out.  People are having their lives ruined by hatred in the name of political correctness.  People are being verbally and physically abused because they look different, have a different faith, don’t agree with you and every other possible scenario.

I’m tired of the hatred from people who think they are better than, smarter than, more privileged than and more informed than me or anyone else.  Civility has left this world.  Wherever civility has gone is where I want to be.

There is truth to the saying “the good old days”.  It truly was better when people talked to each other instead of spewing obscenities at each other.  When businesses could sell their goods/services to anyone they wanted to, or not.  When people weren’t afraid to lose their income because of who they did or didn’t entertain.  When politicians became politicians to serve the people instead of themselves.  When politicians didn’t always agree but worked things out instead of spewing hatred at each other.  When you could do whatever you wanted on your own property without the Association, city, county and state telling you what you can and can’t do on it.  When you could leave your doors unlocked and not worry about someone stealing all the things you worked hard for.  When family helped family, friends helped friends and welfare wasn’t a right but something people used as a totally last resort.  The list is endless and so sad that we have “evolved” to this greedy, self-serving, me first, hateful mentality.  Shame on everyone!

I don’t know when the world will end but in a sense it has.  Hatred has consumed every corner of the globe and has taken hold of pretty much every heart and soul.  What of the next generation?  With the hatred we are now experiencing what does the future hold for our children and grandchildren?  What comes after hatred?  How can we temper it?  Turn it around?  Can we?

Your Book?

Life is simply a book on steroids. Each chapter is another steroid dose.  Too much and that chapter is full of vitality, adventures and all things good.  Too little and that chapter is full of heartache, depression and all things bad.  Some chapters are very short, just a blink, while others can be extremely long it doesn’t matter what dose of steroid was taken but rather the kind of steroid.

It’s amazing to look back and see all the chapters of your own book.  Seeing how your life constantly fluctuated and not really knowing why each chapter started or ended the way it did.  Sure sometimes you can see a certain event such as an accident, meeting or losing someone, getting married, graduating, a certain birthday etc. can be the start and/or ending of a chapter.  But most times we really can’t pin point why things changed or the subtle blending of one chapter to the next.  One thing is for sure, life has so many chapters it’s impossible to really count them, particularly the older you get..

Do you have a favorite chapter of your own life?  Are there chapters you’d rather tear out of your book?  Is the chapter you’re in presently one in which you want to prolong or maybe end and start another that you’d rather experience?  It’s great if you’re enjoying your present chapter but just be aware that it to will end, either because of you or, possible someone or something else, so totally enjoy the present one.  If you’re in a not so good chapter are you ready for a new one?  If so don’t just sit around wanting it…do it.  It doesn’t have to be exactly like your dream chapter but any change creates that new chapter and will be what you make of it.  What kind of steroid will you take for your new chapter?  A positive one so you’ll enjoy it to the max or a negative one that will pull you down?  It’s your choice just like all the rest were but now you are choosing which one with full knowledge that it really is your choice.

I know some of you will say BUT(negative)…and I say no buts allowed.  If the ONLY steroid you take is from BUT to WILL (positive) you change your chapter (mind) from a negative to a positive.  If only in your mind you keep a positive attitude it will change your chapter to the WILL.  The activities and everything around you may stay the same but simply by adding the positive steroid you change the chapter (mind). Positive (WILL) is always better than negative (BUT).

Positive or negative?  It’s your life, your choice, so choose well and keep those steroids close so you can control your chapters particularly when an outside force tries to do it for you.

Just another spin on the power of positive thinking folks!!!



Isn’t it amazing to see how screwed up Hollywood has become.  Back in the 50’s there was McCarthyism which swept through Hollywood causing careers to be lost, entertainers blacklisted, fear, persecution, blame, accusations etc. because politicians feared there were communists lurking there.  People in Hollywood were turning on each other and a witch hunt was the name of the game.  It was a dark time for anyone with connections to the entertainment industry and accomplished absolutely nothing but broken careers, friendships and families.

Well, now those Hollywood entertainers are doing their own style of McCarthyism with their own brand of McHollywoodism towards their own kind.  Amazing isn’t it?  The terrible things they endured by politicians from McCarthyism are now being used against entertainers that don’t “conform” to their own political views.  If you don’t support what I support than you won’t work here anymore is the call of self-serving, self-important, egotistical bully’s.  This is the mindset of the Hollywood elite…it’s our way or we’ll ruin you!  How utterly insane can one group of people be?  You don’t like a particular politician so you will ruin the career of anyone that doesn’t boycott that politician with you?  That’s like saying “I only like strawberry ice cream so that’s the only flavor you can eat or you can’t buy any ice cream ever again.”  Stupid?  Absolutely stupid and no there isn’t any difference whether it’s politics, ice cream,  vacation destinations etc.. Ruining someone’s career because their opinion, belief, likes or dislikes is different from yours is McCarthyism, plain and simple.

The entertainment industry needs to pull their heads out of their ass. When anyone turns against one of their own over a difference of opinion it shows that person to be a self-important, self-serving bully in its truest form.

Hollywood needs to remember they live in a world of make-believe.  Just because they “play” at being intelligent, all-knowing, powerful characters or sing sexist, demeaning, vulgar songs, isn’t the same as real life.  They are entertainers not intellectuals by profession.  I’m sure most entertainers started out as humble normal people but fame molded them into make-believe gods.  No, I didn’t capitalize gods for a reason….they are not Gods, they are make-believe.

I don’t understand the mentality of these people wanting to ruin one of their own for something as simple as not agreeing with them.  How sad Hollywood has become…they hated McCarthyism yet created their own McHollywoodism and too stupid to see it.